Merry Christmas, Honey Bunny!
by VampireNaomi
Summary: Monkey Fist wants to spend a quiet Christmas alone, but DNAmy has very different plans.


Kim Possible and all related characters etc. belong to Disney.

You can find an illustration based on this story if you visit my profile. Big thanks to **SpicyWeasel!**

**MERRY CHRISTMAS, HONEY BUNNY!**

The dreadful screeching just wouldn't go away and let him sleep.

Monkey Fist groaned as he slowly regained consciousness. His head felt like it had been stuffed with wet cotton, and it took him a while to find the strength to open his eyes. He immediately regretted it because the colourful lightshow that assaulted his vision sent a sharp wave of pain through his aching head, forcing him to close his eyes again.

Just what on Earth was that thing over there in the corner? He decided to postpone taking another look until he knew a little more about his surroundings. His arms were tied against his sides with some sort of rope, and no amount of struggling was going to help him to get free. His ankles were likewise tied together so that he couldn't use his toes to free himself or run away. Whoever had captured him knew how to tie knots.

He suddenly became aware of several things at once. There was a sweet scent of fresh gingerbread cookies in the air. As if that hadn't been alarming enough, he realised the infernal howling that he had mistaken for the sound of torture was actually some sort of horrid, sappy Christmas carol about love and warmth and affection and how Christmas just wasn't the same without your special someone.

That could only mean one thing.

"No!" he blurted out in panic as his eyes shot open again. "Anything but this!"

He desperately attempted to fight against the binds around him, noticing that the rope was actually a long red ribbon and that he was sitting on a soft armchair, but it was no use. Just like it was impossible to open a Christmas gift without those blasted scissors, he couldn't snap the ribbon. It only dug deeper into his skin, but he didn't care about the pain. He had to get away!

When he took a moment to catch his breath, his eyes drifted back to the corner where he had seen the colourful monstrosity that had greeted him when he had first opened his eyes. He saw now that it was actually a large Christmas tree, so full of glittering balls, red hearts and flashy lace that it was impossible to tell if there was an actual tree beneath all the junk.

A sound to his left caught his attention. His heart almost stopped beating with relief when he saw four of his monkey ninjas emerge from another room. They were all wearing Santa hats and holding gingerbread men in their hands.

He was saved!

"Monkey ninjas, help me!" he ordered.

The leading monkey made a gesture akin to shrugging and stuffed the rest of a gingerbread man into his mouth. Another monkey chattered something that sounded like an apology.

"What do you mean you were defeated and are prisoners? You aren't captured at all!" Monkey Fist snapped at his reluctant minions.

One of the monkeys offered an explanation.

Monkey Fist rolled his eyes. "So, she didn't have the heart to keep you in a cage. I should have known," he muttered. He was just about to tell his ninjas that they should set him free and help him to escape, but that was when the woman of his worst nightmares entered the room.

"Oh, you're awake already," DNAmy stated as she put down the cookie tray she had been holding. The monkey ninjas immediately rushed to get more gingerbread men. Monkey Fist noted with distaste that about half of the cookies were shaped like bananas.

"What's the meaning of this? Let me go right now!" he snapped at the woman.

"Oh, shh. There's no need to yell like that. It's Christmas. Try to be a little merrier," Amy scolded him.

"After you knocked me out and kidnapped me at my own home? What is merry about that?" Monkey Fist asked.

Amy placed her hands on her hips and shook her head at him.

"You should be a little more grateful. I know you were going to spend Christmas all alone in that horrible, empty castle of yours. I just couldn't bear the thought, so I decided to invite you to stay with me," Amy said, her face melting into a smile before she was done.

"Somehow I don't feel like a guest," Monkey Fist said.

"You mean the ribbon? Sorry about that. I didn't want you to do anything stupid like run away before I had explained everything to you," Amy said.

Monkey Fist only growled under his breath. As far as he was concerned, his Christmas was effectively ruined. He had actually been looking forward to spending the holidays alone. He had purchased a bottle of the best cognac money could guy and a copy of the new book written by his archaeological rival from the time he had still worked at the museum. Reading said piece of trash and writing a scathing review of it for some academic journal would have been the highlight of his year.

"I don't particularly care about your excuses. Just release me at once!" he barked.

"Right away, cutie!" Amy walked to his side and started opening the knots on the ribbon. She giggled. "You know, I've always wanted to unwrap you like this."

Monkey Fist felt a shiver of disgust go down his spine. "I'm not your present!" he snapped. Wild thoughts of what Amy could do to him while he was tied up like this flashed through his mind, but thankfully the woman didn't seem to have such ideas. Or even if she did, she was probably too nice to go through with them.

"Of course not, you silly. You're my guest," Amy remarked as she finished untying the ribbon around his upper body. Monkey Fist felt he could breathe a little easier now, but he didn't know if it was because of her words or that the ribbon was no longer squeezing his ribcage.

Their joined efforts quickly released his feet as well. He cringed as he felt blood flow back to places that had been partly cut off from circulation because of the ribbon and reached down to rub his aching feet. Somehow he'd get back at this stupid woman for all this.

Amy noticed his discomfort and frowned in worry. "Does it hurt, honey bunny? I'm so sorry; I didn't mean to do that! Come to the kitchen! I'll give you a mug of eggnog." She grabbed his arm and pulled him along with her, seemingly oblivious to the fact that walking was a painful experience for him after having spent so many hours tied up.

"What did you do to my monkey ninjas?" he asked through gritted teeth as he tried to keep up with her.

"What do you mean?" Amy asked.

"Look at them! They were supposed to help me, but all they can do is eating biscuits!" Monkey Fist snapped.

"Oh, that," Amy said with a little laugh. "I think they like my cooking. They were starving, so I had to give them something to eat."

"And what's wrong with fruit and vegetables? They're going to ruin their teeth!"

Amy stopped to poke him between the ribs with her finger and winked at him. "It's Christmas, you grumpy, old monkey. Cheer up a little," she said.

"Well, excuse my lack of enthusiasm. I don't particularly enjoy waking up bound and imprisoned in an unfamiliar setting."

They arrived at the kitchen, and Amy pushed Monkey Fist down on a chair by the table. The smell of gingerbread was even stronger there. He could see a new batch of cookies in the oven and several others waiting to be baked. The walls near the ceiling were covered in green vines and ribbons, and little sparkly stars were plastered all over the room.

There was no window, which led him to two conclusions. One, he couldn't jump through it and make a mad escape. Two, it had to mean that they were at her underground lair near Mount Middleton.

"I thought this place was blown up by Kim Possible," he pointed out, recalling what she had told him at some villain convention.

"It was," Amy said brightly as she was rummaging through the fridge, "but I re-built it after I got out of jail. Of course I can't have a laboratory here now that the authorities know about this place, but it's a great mountain holiday resort, don't you think?"

She brought two mugs to the table and filled them with eggnog. Monkey Fist hesitated a moment before taking his. He was annoyed, tired and angry, and he didn't want to spend a single unnecessary moment in Amy's company, but at the moment it looked like the only way to escape was to dash through her lair, kick the door open and run for it. He'd do that later as soon as he had a better idea of what exactly had happened.

He lifted his hand to rub the back of his head, but he didn't feel any pain. The last thing he could remember was gazing out the window and chuckling to himself about what he was going to say about Alderton's book. After that there was only darkness and then the horrid awakening at Amy's lair.

Amy seemed to guess what he was thinking because she flashed him a smirk. "Knock-out gas. I could never hit you," she said.

"What in the world made you think this would be a good idea?" Monkey Fist demanded of her, putting down his mug with such angry force that it almost broke into pieces. The sound made Amy blink.

"You don't like it here? I thought you'd be happy," she said.

"Why would I be happy to be kidnapped? Didn't you learn anything from that gorilla experience?" Monkey Fist asked. One of the reasons why he had always disliked her was how sweet and nice she was; she seemed to have no mean bone in her body. He supposed that Amy's utter disregard for his feelings was pretty villainous which in itself presented him with an annoying paradox. Was he supposed to think more highly of her because of this or dislike her even more?

"I wanted to surprise you," Amy said with a pout.

"I don't like surprises!" Monkey Fist snapped. He jumped up to his feet and started marching out of the kitchen.

"Sugar pie, where are you going?" Amy called after him.

"Home!" Monkey Fist replied. He yelled at his monkey ninjas to leave the cookies be and come to him at once. As soon as the monkeys had formed a neat line before him, he snatched the Santa hats from their heads and threw them on the floor.

"You're pathetic. When we get home, we will do extra training," he scolded his minions. The monkeys chattered in disappointment as the group walked to the main entrance.

"I don't think that's a very good idea," Amy commented as Monkey Fist was about to press the button that would open the door.

"And why not?" he asked, but in his impatience he didn't wait for an answer and pressed the button anyway.

As soon as the door opened, an icy wind stormed through it and brought in so much snow that everyone in the room was soon white from head to toe. The monkeys screeched in shock at the unexpected cold and tried to hide their faces from the wind.

Amy brought her hands around her mouth to carry her voice over the howling of the wind.

"It's a real blizzard outside! The weather forecast said it's the coldest and snowiest Christmas in decades!" she yelled.

"That's none of my concern! I'm not staying here!" Monkey Fist snapped and took the first step outside. He stopped when he noticed that the monkey ninjas weren't following him.

"Well?" he demanded of them.

"Can't you see how cold they are? Monkeys aren't used to this kind of weather," Amy said.

"They've seen snow before!" Monkey Fist said, thinking back to the fiasco with the Lotus Blade. Then again, he had to admit that the Japanese mountains had been nothing compared to this vicious storm. He almost felt like giving up his plan as well.

"Come on, now, honey bunny. Don't be a fool. Close the door and we can all go back to the living room. I'll bring us some mulled wine and we can snuggle under warm blankets," Amy suggested. The monkey ninjas were now hiding behind her back, looking at their master with pleading eyes.

Monkey Fist looked from the raging snowstorm to Amy's hopeful, smiling face and back. He took a deep breath.

"I hope you all rot," he said and stepped outside into the storm.

* * *

Monkey Fist couldn't believe how weak and soft his minions really were. Had the numerous hours they had spent training had no effect at all? He would have to think twice about gracing them with the name ninja from now on; no real ninja would have abandoned their master like this and been so afraid of a little bit of snow.

Well, maybe there was more than that of it. He was currently knee-deep in snow, which made walking feel like he was eternally glued to one spot. The snow was fresh and didn't carry his weight at all, and it was impossible to tell what was beneath it. He had already stopped counting the times his foot had got tangled in something and he had almost fallen over.

He growled when another gust of wind washed over him and sent shivers through his freezing body. He was still wearing the pyjama and his old smoking jacket that he had had on when Amy had kidnapped him. They were far from proper winter clothes, but they were a tad warmer than his usual ninja garb. At least he had slippers so that his feet weren't entirely bare. He could already imagine the looks he'd get when he showed up dressed like this at the Middleton Motor Lodge that was located a bit further down the mountain.

Monkey Fist stopped for a moment to get a better look at his surroundings. The wind and falling snow made it impossible to keep his eyes open when he was walking; the snow felt more like needles of ice that were on the verge of penetrating his skin. The tips of his hair were frozen into chunks, and he had to brush them aside so that he could see better.

It was all dark around him. The light from Amy's lair had long since disappeared into the woods, and he doubted he could have returned there even if he had wanted. He knew it was maybe a little less than five miles from the lair to the big mountain hotel, but he had no idea if he was even going to the right direction. If he wasn't, he's just wander deeper into the wilderness, but he would rather die than go back to Amy and admit that she had been right. The world would never see a day when he would admit that he might have done something stupid.

Monkey Fist pulled the smoking jacket more tightly around his form as he decided to continue his journey, but he only managed to make himself feel worse. His clothes were soaked in snow which had partly melted because of his body heat and was slowly starting to freeze. He no longer knew if he even had toes. If he had, he certainly couldn't feel them.

He didn't know how much longer he walked, but his progress became slower and slower until he was left standing in the snow, too tired and cold to keep going. He mentally cursed the weather, his monkeys and Amy for they were all a bunch of idiots and to blame.

He knew it was useless to go on any longer. The weather was far stronger than him, and he would surely die if he didn't seek cover soon. He would have to wait until the storm was over and morning dawned. Then it would be much easier to find the hotel. Once he did, he'd order a bowl of hot soup and come up with something witty and spiteful to say to Amy when he went back to retrieve his monkeys.

The spruce next to him was so covered in snow that the branches were lowered all the way to the ground, creating a little hole for him to crawl into. Monkey Fist curled his legs into a lotus position and tried to rub his feet a little to make them warm. The last thing he needed were frostbites or, even worse, having his toes fall off. He breathed a sigh of relief when he could feel his feet again, even if the only sensation was sharp pain, and tried to curl into a ball.

Next year I'm spending Christmas at the Bahamas, he decided groggily. He hadn't even realised how tired he was. He knew he shouldn't let himself fall asleep, but it was increasingly hard to fight the temptation. The closer sleep crept, the less intense the coldness biting into his bones felt.

* * *

Amy took the last batch of cookies from the oven and glanced at the clock in worry. Monty-wonty had been outside for almost half an hour now, and there was still no sign of him coming back. She had been expecting him to just take a little walk and return as soon as he realised how stupid he was being.

"Men," she muttered and shook her head at the monkey ninjas. The animals were wearing their Santa hats again, but their faces showed none of their earlier merriness. They were sitting around Amy's kitchen table and making small ooks and whimpers at each other.

"Oh, I know," Amy said to them. "I'm worried about him, too, but what else could we have done?" Monkey Fist was a grown man, and if he wanted to go outside and catch the cold of the century, that was his business. It could be said that Amy didn't usually respect his wishes that much, considering how she had kidnapped him and all that, but she had always meant well. This time her cuddle monkey was obviously upset about something.

"It's for the best to let him cool off a little. He'll be back soon… I hope," she said to the monkeys. She wasn't sure if they understood her at all. She couldn't talk to the animals like Monkey Fist did, and she certainly had no idea what their ooks meant.

She took a seat with the monkeys and grabbed one of the fresh gingerbread men. She was a fan of everything sweet, but she found she suddenly had no appetite. Just nibbling at the cookie felt too much of a task.

This Christmas hadn't exactly turned out like she had planned. She had had high hopes of eating well and then cuddling together with Monkey Fist by the Christmas tree while her favourite carols were playing. She had even gone through the trouble of placing mistletoes every five feet. She always had her place decorated at Christmas, but this year she had been extra careful to make everything perfect. Only the best was good enough for her Montykins.

Too bad he hadn't greeted her arrangements with the enthusiasm she had been expecting. True, he had never exactly been the romantic hero to her, but she had thought he would loosen up at least once a year.

She tossed the cookie aside and sighed, turning to look at the monkeys. "You know, he was so different when I first met him," she said. Her lips spread into a blissful smile as she recalled better times. "He was so handsome and charming and polite. He actually talked to me back then and took me out to a fancy restaurant. He keeps saying it was just a professional relationship, but who would go to a restaurant to talk about genetics if it didn't mean anything?"

Amy rested her chin on her hands and frowned. "Do you think he was just using me so that I would make him those new hands and feet?" she wondered.

The monkeys looked at each other in confusion and offered her no answer. Amy supposed they wouldn't know in any case. They hadn't been around when the mutation procedure had been done.

"Surely he wouldn't, not when he knows how much he means to me," she decided.

She felt a little better after that conclusion, but Christmas cheer was still missing from her lair. The colourful decorations and lovely music only seemed to highlight the fact that she was spending the best time of the year without her love.

"Let's go and find him," she said all of a sudden and stood up.

The monkeys gave her a series of ooks that she suspected were meant as questions or doubts. She smiled reassuringly at them.

"Don't worry. We'll get there in no time if we take Floppy, and Lucy can track him down," she said, referring to the rhinobunny and dogster. They were her first creations ever, so she was very attached to them and kept them around even after all this time.

"Lucy! Come on, girl!" she called and in no time the little dog with lobster limbs came scuttering to her.

Once Amy got something into her mind, it was impossible to stop her. First she grabbed one of the mugs from the table. Then she ran to the Christmas tree and pulled four small packages from under it and gave them to the monkeys. The little ninjas hesitantly opened them, revealing little woollen coats and hats in their size.

"Those were supposed to be your presents, but I guess you need them more now," Amy explained. She pulled on her own coat and picked up Lucy who was much slower than the rest of them. Once everyone was covered in warm clothes, the uneven group ran to one of the storage rooms where she was keeping Floppy. Amy didn't usually lock her big friend away like that, but she had had to after the rhinobunny had eaten her Christmas tree for the third time.

She opened the door and rushed to hug the monstrosity. "Oh, don't worry, sweetie! Mommy isn't mad at you anymore!" she cooed and planted a kiss on the creature's nose. She climbed on top of the animal and urged for the monkeys to do the same. Within a minute the whole bunch of them was outside in the howling storm.

It's worse than I thought, Amy realised and tried to lift her collar to cover her face. The monkeys behind her whimpered.

"Maybe you should go back inside," she suggested, but she was met with firm shakes of the ninjas' heads.

"Aww, that's so sweet. You really want to find him, don't you?" she said to them.

She took the mug Monty had used earlier and showed it to Lucy so that she'd get his scent. It wasn't really the best item for such a purpose, but they had nothing better. Too bad she didn't have any of his clothes available.

Lucy spent a moment sniffing the mug and then jumped down to the ground, disappearing under the thick snow. Monkey Fist's footprints were long gone, so their only hope of finding him was Lucy's nose.

"Can you find him?" Amy asked the dog, a little worried that the task might be too much for the little genetic hybrid. Now that she was facing the icy storm herself, it was obvious to her that if they didn't find Monkey Fist now, they probably wouldn't see him again before the snow melted and revealed his body in the spring. It wasn't a very happy thought, so the corners of Amy's mouth fell down as she watched the little dog struggle in the snow.

After what felt like an eternity to her, there was a loud woof from somewhere under the snow. Amy pointed the flashlight she had brought along at the sound and saw Lucy going towards one of the mountain paths, leaving behind her tracks that made it look like a mole had dug a way through the snow.

"Okay, Floppy! Follow Lucy and take us to mommy's little monkey!" she said to the rhinobunny. The creature let out a low growl and jumped into action, following the light of Amy's flashlight and trying not to step on little Lucy. Every now and then they had to stop and wait for the dog to find the scent again, but they still made quick progress.

Because of her glasses it was a little easier for Amy to keep her eyes open as long as she kept wiping them clean from fresh snow. She couldn't see much more than endless darkness and the vague shapes of trees and hills around them. She quickly counted the probability of them finding Monkey Fist before he was frozen to death, if he wasn't already, and felt a sudden jab of desperation inside her.

I should have gone to look for him earlier, she thought guiltily. She had again been too wrapped up in her own little world to realise what was actually going on. She should have known that Montykins was so stubborn that he'd get himself into a mess like this.

It would be partly her fault if he died. The only reason he had gone outside was that he had been angry enough at her to forget reason. As much as it pained her to admit it, she couldn't deny that she had made him upset with her Christmas plans. She had only wanted to make him happy. He had to love her just like she loved him; she only had to give him a nudge – or a violent shove – to the right direction so that he would understand it as well.

But if he died because of this… She didn't know what she would do then.

Amy gritted her teeth in annoyance at herself. "Just so that you know, cuddle monkey, I'm saving you whether you like it or not!" she yelled into the dark forest, startling the monkey ninjas.

They kept searching for some more minutes, every passing moment making Amy's grip on Floppy's fur harder. She'd never forgive Monty-wonty if he left her like this, and she'd never forgive herself for driving him into it.

Suddenly Floppy stopped like he had hit a wall. Amy peered past his neck to see that Lucy had stopped and was pushing her head above snow level to release a piercing howl. With her breath caught in her throat, Amy fumbled with the flashlight before pointing it forwards. At first she didn't see anything, but then her attention was caught by the large tree that Lucy was barking at.

The mad geneticist jumped down, sinking waist-deep into the snow and waded through it to the tree. She pushed aside the drooping branches and released a squeal of joy when she found Monkey Fist sitting there, curled up against the tree trunk and half-covered in snow. However, her joy quickly faded and died when she saw that her voice got no reaction out of the man.

"Honey bunny?" she asked and gave him a gentle shove.

He didn't move. His skin was a bluish grey tone that made him look like a corpse.

"Oh, don't you dare!" Amy snapped at him. She grabbed a hold of him and started dragging him back to the rhinobunny. The monkey ninjas helped her lift their master on the massive creature's back, whimpering in worry when they saw the state the man was in.

"Don't worry; he'll be fine," Amy told them.

* * *

Monkey Fist couldn't help but get a sense of Déjà vu when he slowly opened his eyes and saw the same horrid Christmas decorations and heard the same repulsively saccharine songs. Just like last time, he found himself unable to move, but this time it was because he was too tired and there was a heavy blanket and five hot-water bottles on him.

When he turned his head a little, he could see all his four monkey ninjas sitting in a row beside his bed. He wanted to snap at them to take off those stupid Santa hats, but all he managed to get out of his mouth was an exhausted "Mnnggghhhmmm…" which he regretted immediately because it brought Amy running into the room.

"Oh, you're awake!" she said and rushed to him. Before Monkey Fist had had the time to brace himself, she had wrapped her arms around his form and hugged him tightly against her chest so that he could almost feel his ribs cracking.

"I'm so happy you're still alive! We were all so worried about you!" Amy squealed.

Just when he was starting to think that she'd choke him to death, she released him and let him fall back against the mountain of pillows. He felt too tired to ask her what exactly had happened, but he guessed she would tell him anyway. Amy wasn't the kind of woman to keep her mouth shut if she had something to say.

"You were real lucky, honey. We found you just in time to get you warm again. We couldn't have treated a severe case of hypothermia here, so you had better be grateful," she said.

Monkey Fist chose to reply by glaring daggers at her. She might have saved him, but he didn't doubt for one second that he couldn't have survived on his own. He didn't need her, and if he let her believe that he would have died without her, it would only strengthen her insane fantasies and irrational claim on him.

One of the monkeys dared to point out that Amy was right and that he would have been lost without her and her mutated creatures.

"Oh, shut up," Monkey Fist said, his anger giving him enough strength to form words.

"Don't speak like that to them. They were really worried about you, even after you left them all alone here!" Amy snapped at him.

Monkey Fist blinked as he turned to look at her. He hadn't heard her that angry since... well, ever. She looked almost scary with her brows furrowed like that and with her mouth in such a tight line that it in no way resembled a smile. Just what was her problem anyway?

"If you weren't sick I'd give you a good slap right now, cuddle monkey. How could you be so stupid to go outside like that? I told you it was a bad idea!" she said.

He opened his mouth in an attempt to tell her that she should mind her own business, but she shook her head and interrupted him before he got a sound out.

"No, don't say anything. You were just being selfish and not thinking about anything else but your pride. Do you have any idea how inconsiderate that was? You could have died just because you were too stubborn to admit that I was right!" she ranted, pointing a finger so close at his face that she was almost touching his nose.

I would not have died, he thought to himself, not feeling like arguing with her before he had slept some more. He would have made it somehow.

He decided to have a little more rest so that he could take his monkeys and go back home as soon as possible. He closed his eyes and tried to clear his mind from the dull ache all over his body and the sound of Amy still lecturing at him for how irresponsible he had been. Just as he was getting comfortable, there was a painful nudge at his shoulder, and his eyes shot open again.

"What?" he asked in irritation as he realised that Amy had given him the shove.

"You aren't going to sleep until you've eaten a bowl of chicken soup. You need to get something warm inside you," she said. She instructed the monkeys to keep an eye on him while she dropped by the kitchen to see if the soup was ready. Monkey Fist glared after her for a while before turning his stare at his minions.

"You traitors. You're supposed to be on my side," he told them.

The leading monkey responded that it was a good idea to postpone their attack and escape until their master was feeling better, but it sounded like a feeble excuse to Monkey Fist. The monkeys seemed to be enjoying themselves a little too much in Amy's lair for their story to be believable.

Amy returned with a bowl of soup that she placed on the nightstand. It smelled good, but Monkey Fist was too stubborn to even think about eating anything she was offering him. To his horror, she picked up the spoon, took some soup into it and tried to shove it at his face.

"Open wide," she said.

"No."

Did she think he was a child? If he was hungry - which he was, but that wasn't the point now - he was perfectly capable of eating without help.

Amy's scowl deepened. "I'm sorry, cutie, but I've had it with your attitude. Either you eat this, or I'll push a tube down your throat and make you eat it. Your choice," she said.

Monkey Fist could only stare at her with his jaw hanging open. She wouldn't dare! Since when did Amy have such a vicious streak in her? She was supposed to bury him in hugs and giggle about it. The way she was acting all angry and dominating now was like she had turned into a completely different person.

The geneticist used the situation to her advantage and shoved the spoonful of soup into his open mouth before he even realised what was going on. He had no option but to gulp it down.

"There. That wasn't so bad, was it?" Amy asked, finally smiling and looking like her old self again. Monkey Fist decided that he preferred her this way, as annoying as she was.

"I can eat on my own," he said.

"No, I don't think you can," Amy said. She put the bowl aside and reached under the blanket to pull out his hand. His eyes widened when he saw that it was entirely covered in bandages.

"What happened?" he asked in sudden worry. Fingers and toes were the body parts that were at the greatest danger in the cold. Had he got such severe frostbites that there would be permanent damage? At least he could feel all his fingers, but that didn't necessarily mean everything was alright. What about his toes? What would he do if there was something wrong?

"Honey bunny, don't look so terrified. It's not that bad. There will probably only be some blisters, but I decided to bandage them anyway just in case so that they won't rub against each other. You know how damaging that could be," Amy explained quickly when she saw his worrisome expression.

"Are you certain about that?" Monkey Fist asked. His hands and feet were vital to him as a ninja and future monkey king. If he would have to suffer from any consequences because of this, he would never forgive himself for his stupidity.

"I spent my winter holidays with my grandfather in his little shack in the Canadian wilderness. He taught me so much that you should just lie back and trust me," Amy said.

If somebody had only a day before told him that trusting DNAmy would be the best thing he could do in a while, Monkey Fist would have laughed himself to death. Now he didn't even feel like cracking a smile. Seeing his hands injured like that made him feel a coldness that had nothing to do with the snow outside. If Amy knew what to do about this, he could easily endure her presence for a little longer.

"Now, let's eat the soup before it gets cold," she said brightly.

This time Monkey Fist had no objections.

* * *

He spent the next few days, including Christmas Eve, in bed. Amy was by his side all the time, fussing over him and bringing him so much food that he'd probably have to go on a diet once the holidays were over. She wasn't angry at him anymore and instead chose to talk about how happy she was that he was spending Christmas with her after all.

"It's not like I had much choice," he finally grumbled to her. It wouldn't do to give her any ideas.

"Oh, you silly! You don't need to pretend to be all cold and manly with me," she said joyfully and punched him on the shoulder, making him wince.

Monkey Fist just rolled his eyes and sighed. If he was lucky, he'd be out of the mad woman's lair very soon. She was currently unwrapping the bandages around his hands and feet to see how they were and when he could walk again.

"Okay, all done," Amy said as she finished with the first hand. Monkey Fist brought it closer to his face for inspection and was relieved to notice that everything seemed to be fine. His skin was a little redder than was normal and he had a few blisters, but there weren't any black spots, and he could move his fingers without trouble.

The rest of his limbs were in similar condition. He felt much more at ease now that he knew his little misadventure hadn't caused any permanent damage. It had been close, and he knew he had only one person to thank for his rescue. He had had a lot of extra time while he had been in bed, and he had done some meditating on the issue. Without Amy he probably would have died or at least lost a limb or two.

Not that he would ever express his gratitude in any way. First, she would just understand it the wrong way and think he was in love with her. Second, he wouldn't have got into the mess in the first place if she hadn't kidnapped him, so by rescuing her she had only cancelled her own mistake. That made them even in his eyes.

"Well, doesn't that look nice? If you feel like walking, come to the kitchen with me. I just baked a cake," Amy said.

"Are you trying to feed an army here?" Monkey Fist asked as he slipped his feet on the floor and tried putting his weight on them. It hurt a little, but he was too glad to finally be out of bed to care.

"Well, I've got five extra mouths to feed. What did you expect?" Amy asked.

"You wouldn't have that problem if you hadn't kidnapped me," Monkey Fist pointed out.

"It's no trouble. I like cooking," Amy said with a beaming smile.

"Actually, it is. I don't in any way condone treating me as if I had no free will," Monkey Fist snapped.

Amy frowned at him in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"That I don't like being kidnapped!"

"But I thought you'd like to spend Christmas with me," Amy said, stopping and turning back to look at him in worry. The lost puppy expression on her face made Monkey Fist want to smash his head against the wall. Could she really be that dense?

"You can't just assume things like that! The least you could do is ask!" he said.

"If I had asked you, would you have come?"

No. If she had asked him, he would have packed his bags and travelled to the other side of the world to get away from her.

"Maybe," he said, avoiding her eyes.

"Well, then there was no harm done," Amy said, the worried lines on her face melting and giving way for that wide smile of hers.

"But I--" Monkey Fist started but realised that it wouldn't do any good. "Just don't surprise me from now on, alright? Always ask first. _Please._"

"Sure, if that's what you want. You should have told me before," Amy said. She didn't seem to notice his exasperated tone or the unhappy frown on his face. He supposed it was because he was always frowning in her company; she probably thought it was his default expression. And it kind of was if he was perfectly honest with himself.

He took a seat by the table and watched how Amy cut him a generous piece of the cake. There weren't many good things he could say about her, but she was a very good cook. From the looks of it, she had bothered to make traditional British fruitcake, probably just for his sake. How could he say no to that?

His monkeys were currently playing with Amy's dog and lobster hybrid somewhere in the lair. The snowstorm outside was still raging, though it had quieted down a little. Amy said they had plenty of supplies if they remained stuck, but that didn't comfort Monkey Fist very much. He hated being cramped inside the mountain like that; it was like he was back in prison.

"Are storms like this common in this area?" he asked. It was just his luck that there'd be one when he was present.

Amy shook her head. "No, this is really weird. Usually it's so nice here. I remember when I first set up my lair here and started doing my experiments. I went out to take a walk almost every day. Like this one time when Floppy ran off…" She started telling him the story about how Kim and Ron had ruined her plans for the first time.

"Fascinating," Monkey Fist muttered. He had heard the tale more times than he cared to count. Amy was one of the less active villains, so she didn't have many stories to share. To be fair, he didn't have much more because the other villains weren't interested in hearing about mystical powers and magic – and he wouldn't have wanted to tell them anything anyway. The less people knew about his plans, the better.

"So, are you going to stay for a few more days?" Amy asked. He had been telling her that he'd have to return home to work on some project as soon as he made it out of bed. That was the perfect excuse to get out, but he wasn't sure he wanted to risk the stormy weather a second time, even in daytime.

"Maybe," he said. "I suppose it can't get any wor--"

The lights went out and left the two of them sitting in complete darkness.

"Perfect," Monkey Fist said.

"Hmm. The storm must have made a tree fall on the power line," Amy mused.

"That's why you should have the lines underground," Monkey Fist pointed out.

"I do, but they come back above the surface near the power plant. I guess at least half of Middleton is without electricity now," Amy said.

"I suppose we'll be alright. You have an emergency generator, am I right?" Monkey Fist asked.

Silence.

"Amy?" he asked, already fearing the worst.

"Well," Amy started with a nervous giggle, "I do have one, but it's probably overcharged now. You have no idea how much electricity those Christmas lights eat."

"Well, isn't that brilliant? We're stuck here in the dark because we can't go outside and because someone was stupid enough to put blinking light bulbs before necessary safety precautions!" Whatever semi-positive thoughts Monkey Fist had had about Amy only a minute ago were replaced by the familiar irritation at her. How could someone who was so good at genetics be a complete idiot in so many other regards?

"Don't be like that. This could be a wonderful adventure!" Amy said. Monkey Fist heard how she pushed her chair back and felt her way to one of her cupboards. "I think I should have candles here somewhere..."

"I've had enough adventures for a while, thank you," he muttered.

There was a scratch as Amy lit a match and the big candle she had found. It didn't bring much light into the kitchen, but it was enough for them to see what they were doing. She put the candle on the table and sat down again.

"Isn't this romantic?" she asked with a sigh.

"Not particularly," Monkey Fist growled. "I'm more concerned about how we'll keep warm and get something to eat."

"We could snuggle under blankets," Amy suggested in a sultry tone that made Monkey Fist shift uncomfortably.

"I'll pass," he remarked and got up. He got another candle and lit it.

"Where are you going?" Amy called out after him.

"I'm going to find my monkeys and come up with a plan," Monkey Fist said.

In the end it turned out that it was a little more difficult than he had anticipated. Amy's lair was underground but still so close to the surface that warmth escaped quickly and left the complex uncomfortably cool. After his near death experience, Monkey Fist wasn't very happy about that turn of events. He knew that if frostbites got too cold again, there could be much more damage. His monkeys didn't like the low temperature either. They sat huddled together under a blanket, shivering and sneezing.

He had briefly considered going outside and finding his way to the Motor Lodge, but one look at the ever growing layers of snow quickly cured him from that insanity.

Currently, he was sitting beside Amy's Christmas tree - which was almost bearable now that the flashy lights were dead - and resting his chin against his palm, sulking to himself. He didn't even look up as Amy entered the room with Lucy and Floppy. The two creatures joined the monkey ninjas so that they'd all be warmer together. Floppy's thick fur provided the smaller animals with much needed comfort.

"You know, honey bunny," Amy said thoughtfully, "I really see only two solutions to this problem."

"And what would those be?" Monkey Fist asked. The first one was probably snuggling under blankets, so the other option would have to be something outrageously horrible before he'd even consider that.

"I've got wireless Internet on my laptop. If you don't like the blankets, I guess we could always try to contact Kim Possible and ask her to come and save us," Amy said.

Monkey Fist thought about it for one second before crawling under the blankets with her.

"This is the worst Christmas of my life," he growled.

Amy rested her head on his shoulder. "Aww, it's not that bad. At least we're together."

"Yes, and that makes me feel _so_ much better," Monkey Fist muttered dryly.


End file.
